Five jobs no computer can replace

By Mr Colin Pringle.

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FT columnist Michael Skapinker published an article on March 20, in which he pointed out five irreplaceable careers: receptionist, climate researcher, care of the elderly, executive assistant, and pedant(or pedagogue).

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Sir, I think Michael Skapinker’s “top five careers for the next 25 years” are valid, but aim too low. These five are likely to be the real winners.

Lawyer. Computers cannot readily replace the science of making a mountain out of a molehill. The computations are complex: dispute resolution = maximum billable hours * gullibility.

Politician. A role that definitely needs to be done by a human, despite strong impressions to the contrary. This is the career that all buskers aspire to. You must carry on banging your own drum while pretending to play everyone’s favourite tune on the flute. If you can’t get the crowd with you, let them help themselves to a few coins from the hat.

Banker. Few know exactly what a banker is. It sounds important and has the seal of mystery. Traditionally bankers simply charged a levy on the ownership of assets. More recently they have diversified into lucrative lines like “fixing” interest rates, foreign exchange and other “crook the house” strategies. Why are they so indispensable? In true mafia tradition, they can threaten: “If you want to see your money again . . . ”

Doctor. Tiberius Caesar(second emperor of Rome, stepson of Augustus) said he would have on his tombstone: “It was the crowd of physicians that killed me.” Doctors are always in demand – witness the time needed to make an appointment and the wait when you actually visit. The subjective nature of some ailments and the love of second opinions mean that it can take many doctors to replace a hip. No chance of redundancy here.

Spin-doctor. Not to be confused with a real doctor (or anything real). The very human art of persuading people to change direction by using misleading signposts guarantees these rally experts are always in demand by those desperate to be first past the finish line.