Continue to Read book "The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes" by William Ury
Filled with pertinent and poignant case studies and reasoned arguments, The Power of a Positive No (a prequel to Getting to Yes and Getting Past No) shows how rushing to decisions, giving in to negative emotions (fear, guilt and anger), failing to articulate one's own underlying interests and being ill-prepared can often torpedo relationships in business and life while failing to advance your own interests and goals. Three simple and reasonable assumptions must be made before entering any negotiation.
1. The other party exists.
2. The other party's interests exist.
3. The other party's power exists.
Negative emotions often lead to accommodating the other party (guilt), avoiding conflict altogether (fear) or attacking the opposition (guilt). Needless to say, these tactics do not foster respect and are the result of emotional short circuits run amok. One of the most important components of the solution is to recognize your own emotions and seeing them as events that are happening to you, rather than as something you are. "I am angry" is far less productive than "I feel anger." That is not to say that emotions are something that must be suppressed. That is often counterproductive and tends to result in emotional outbursts at a later date. Emotions can often signal problems or opportunities that can be uncovered and dealt with. Detaching oneself from feelings of intense anger, fear, guilt, anxiety or apprehension can be very effective when preparing for a negotiation. Calming oneself, going to the balcony and refusing to give in to one's own temper or indignation will often foster respect from the other party.
Three essential points must be uncovered before initiating any negotiation. What do you want to create that is of value to you? How will you protect it once you have it? What can you change that doesn't work? Ury uses the example of Southwest Airlines, a superlative leader in the US air transport industry. By selecting profit, reliable flights and fast turnover, it did away with reserved seats and meals on its flights. This proved to be a very successful strategy. Taking customers out to extravagant meals before delivering bad news can also help dampen the disappointment that is almost certain to result. Again, the key is to build, nurture and sustain healthy, productive and win-win relationships for all parties.
Ury's most insightful (and counter-intuitive) insight concerns how to help your adversary cross your golden bridge to agreement. It is a tactic that few will devise on their own. When dealing with the other side's representative, always keep in mind the fact that they are accountable to their constituents, and if they cannot convince them that their agreement was the right thing to do under the circumstances, they will likely be reticent and reject any deals you may offer. Helping them see the benefits for their constituents and helping them save face (or even gain respect) among their stakeholders will make agreement more likely (to say nothing of the benefits for both relationships).
In summary, begin with a firm, assertive Yes! Continue by asserting your interests and explain why you are not willing to accept unreasonable demands. Finish with a Yes?, and propose a reasonable solution that will lead to a win-win solution for all parties.
扫码加好友，拉您进群
全部版块
我的主页
