DaniellePosa
Corporate Well-Being Advisor & Consultant
Posted: 12/08/2014 6:03 pm EST
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-posa/you-dont-know-what-it-mea_b_6285592.html

Do you ever have that feeling like you're stuck inautomatic-ness of life?

New Yorkers can probably relate fairly easy to this because it'scalled "the rat race." But it's applicable to all of us. I'mreferring to the automatic way that we usually live life. Whenthings become so routine that you just keep doing what you're doing to thepoint where you aren't even conscious about it anymore. You never really stopto wonder WHY you are doing what you're doing. You never ask yourself,"What ladder am I climbing, and to where? What carrot am I chasing? Andhow come the carrot always seems just out of reach?"

I'll assert that if you actually DO stop to ask yourself this"carrot question", most likely the carrot that you are chasing is thewrong carrot（胡萝卜） and that's probably why you never get to it.

Confused?

Let's look at the carrot that you might have come up with.

The "success" carrot. When you askedyourself all the previous questions you came to the conclusion that it issuccess that you are aiming for. You want to be successful. Yes, that's it.That sounds about right. Doesn't everyone want to be successful? Isn't thatwhat life is all about? Well, maybe. But what the heck is success?Doesn'tthat vary from person to person. Do you really think that there's onedefinition to success? Do you think a hedge-fund manager in NYC and a farmer inCosta Rica would have the same answer? So what does it mean to you? Does itmean money? Happiness? A lifestyle that gives you freedom to travel? Maybe itmeans being a good parent or just being a good person in general.

I don't blame you if you really have never thought about thisbefore or that you don't have the answers to these questions yet. Idon't blame you because society has done a pretty good job answering thesequestions for you. According to the media, our employers, and even our economicmodel, success is about the numbers. Now look, I'm NOT againstnumbers. But the problem is what the numbers represent. The media glorifiessuccess as the next 24-year-old who is worth a billion dollars. The employertells you that success is about working long hours, and making bonus. And oureconomic system tells all of us, the whole world, that the higher the GDP, thebetter off we are as a country. Yet if we really examine these assumptions, arethey accurate?

WRONG. Wrong carrot.

I know. It's a bold statement to tell you that our entire systemis backwards, but it is. It's completely backwards. There's even wellbeing datanow to prove it. All of these things are a means to an end. And the end isjust a good life. The problem is that we waste time by only measuring the means.

I invite the skeptics to challenge this. But it's thereason why I've met several CEOs who've reached their 60s and have told me thatthey want to do something more meaningful with their life. That their wholelife they have been chasing a carrot that didn't lead them to where theywanted. And it's only when they almost kill themselves skiing or when it startsto feel like the end of their life is getting just a tad（少量；一点儿） to close thatthey choose to make some changes. It always takes a crucible moment. It's justtoo bad they waited so long.

Ok and what about the media? I don't have a problem with givingpeople credit for making a fortune at a young age. I'm an entrepreneur and Irespect anyone who has the persistence and determination to build a successfulbusiness. But I always always question the motive. And Iwonder what the story is behind the story. I'd prefer to see headlines saysomething like this. "Forbes 30 under 30 Successful in Business and Happyin Life" or "Top 10 Companies with the Highest Percentage ofEmployees Thriving" or "CEOs who lead with Purpose." I'dlike to know how the TIME's 100 Most Influential people would rate theirquality of life. The real examples for society should be the people who arehaving an impact while living a great life. I'd be willing to bet that when thecarrot shifts to the things that actually matter in life, there will be noshortage of money, profit and success as we know it.

And when it comes to our economic model, there's a quote byBobby Kennedy that I think will sum it up for you. He was giving a speech in1968 just before his death.

Even if we act to erase material poverty,there is another greater task, it is to confront the poverty of satisfaction --purpose and dignity -- that afflicts us all..... the gross national productdoes not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their educationor the joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of ourpoetry or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debateor the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor ourcourage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor ourdevotion to our country, it measures everything in short, except that whichmakes life worthwhile.

So what is the THAT? The THAT that makes life worthwhile. What isthe carrot that you're chasing? Who's life are you living? What's the life thatyou really want?

Don't get caught up in the machine. And if you think you'restuck, or that you don't have any other options because you can't get out ofyour job, or (insert reason here), just simply start talking about what youwant. What is the future you can create for yourself or what is the lifestyleyou desire? Talking to people about it will start bringing it into reality. Youmight be surprised how quickly people want to be part of it, and who would bewilling to help you get there.

Just remember how connected we all are. Remember how manyresources are at our fingertips. Maybe, now, it's all more possiblethan you think. Either way, it's worth a try.