官僚主义：你有两头母牛。首先，政府规定你可以给它们喂什么和你什么时候喂它们；然后它给你的工资还不及卖牛奶的钱。之后，它把牛都带走了，射杀一头，给另一头挤奶，再把牛奶都倒污水沟里。完事之后，它让你填好表格解释为什么两头母牛丢失了。 [size=-1]ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows. 无政府主义：你有两头母牛。要不你以公平价格买你的牛奶，要不你的邻居就杀了你把母牛据为己有。 [size=-1]CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. 资本主义：你有两头母牛，你卖了一头买进一头公牛。 [size=-1]HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad. 香港的资本主义：你有两头母牛。你在姐夫所在的银行开了信用证出售3头到你的上市公司，然后利用使用有一般资产抵押的债务/股权互换得到四头牛回来，扣除交税一头还剩下5头母牛。 6头母牛的牛奶所有权通过巴拿马的中介秘密转让给开曼群岛大股东大股东控股的公司，该公司把所有7个母牛的牛奶买回给原上市公司。年度报告说，该公司拥有8头母牛并有不止一头牛的买卖期权。同时，你杀了两头母牛，因为风水不好。 [size=-1]ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them. 环保主义：你有两头母牛，政府禁止你挤奶，否则就杀了它们。 [size=-1]FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf. 女权主义：你有两头母牛，它们结婚了，还收养了一个小牛犊。 [size=-1]TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. 极权主义：你有两头母牛，政府全带走并且完全否认它们曾经存在过。牛奶被禁用。 [size=-1]POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. 政治正确性：你与两头年老（但是不是对社会无价值）程度不同程度不同并不特别指定性别的牛有关系("所有权"被认为有男权主义、煽动战争和无法忍受过去的意味)。 注：“政治正确性”可以简单但是并不精确地理解为才用词上尽量使用中立字眼以保证不侵犯和伤害任何人。 上面那么冗长绕嘴的一句话其实就是“你有两头母牛”的意思。 [size=-1]COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk. Far out! Awesome! 反文化：哦，瞧啊，这好像有……这有两头母牛，老兄。你得来尝点儿牛奶。太新鲜了，真棒！！ [size=-1]SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. 超现实主义：你有两只长颈鹿。政府要求你给它们开口琴课。 [size=-1]JAPANESE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You give the milk to gangsters so they don't ask any awkward questions about who you're giving the milk to. 日本的民主：你有两头母牛。你把牛奶给匪徒这样他们就不问任何关于你把正把牛奶给谁这样愚蠢的问题。 [size=-1]EUROPEAN FEDERALISM: You have two cows which cost too much money to care for because everybody is buying milk imported from some cheap east-European country and would never pay the fortune you'd have to ask for your cows' milk. So you apply for financial aid from the European Union to subsidise your cows and are granted enough subsidies. You then sell your milk at the former elevated price to some government-owned distributor which then dumps your milk onto the market at east-European prices to make Europe competitive. You spend the money you got as a subsidy on two new cows and then go on a demonstration to Brussels complaining that the European farm-policy is going drive you out of your job. 欧联邦：你要想养两头母牛代价不菲，简直养不起。因为人民都从东欧国家购买便宜的牛奶，才不会花钱从你那里买牛奶。所以，你向欧洲联盟的申请财政支持来补贴你来养牛，并且得到了足够的补贴。然后你按照比以前还高的价格把牛奶卖给了国有经销公司，这个公司按照东欧的牛奶价格在东欧市场上倾销以便与之竞争。你拿着补贴又买了两头母牛，然后再前往布鲁塞尔示威抱怨说，欧盟农业政策正在让你们失业。 [size=-1]EASTERN EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You sell the milk (diluted with some water) at a high price to the neighbors or to anyone at the open-air market. If somebody asks for receipt, you charge for a two times higher price, so nobody will request an invoice. For concerned families with small babies you claim that the milk is "bio", though you collect the grass for feeding at the side of the highway and you keep the milk in plastic barrels used previously as containers of dangerous chemicals. Later, your neighbor or anybody from town will steal the cows and will buy their meat for a high price, and if you ask for a receipt, you will be charged for a two times higher price. 东欧的民主：你有两头母牛。你以高价卖牛奶（兑过水）卖给邻居或在露天市场的人。假如有人要发票，你就索要两倍以上的价格，所以没有人会索要发票。对有婴幼儿的家庭你强调你的牛奶是“纯天然”的，尽管你收集高速公路旁的草喂牛，也使用以前是装危险化学品的塑料桶来装牛奶。后来，你的邻居或其他从城里来的什么人因为买牛肉太贵把你的牛偷走了，如果你想要发票，您将被索要两倍以上的价格。 [size=-1]FINNISH SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Soon you have to kill one of them because in the Netherlands there is an overproduction of milk and the European Union rules say so. When you do so, you realize that it was not necessary, only the system was too slow in getting you the up-to-date news. From the stress, you get an ulcer in your stomach so you go to a doctor. The doctor realizes that this ulcer is a serious one, so you need an urgent treatment. Therefore, you soon get a call to the local hospital. The call's date is for 3 months later, because there is a queue with more urgent cases. Then your ulcer becomes even more serious because you remember that 40 percent of your income is taken for social tax.  
[size=-1]芬兰的社会主义：你有两头母牛。不久，你必须杀死其中一头，因为荷兰牛奶生产过剩，按欧盟的规则你要这样做，当你这样做了，你意识到这根本[size=-1]没有必要，因为系统更新太慢所以消息已经过期了。因为这事很郁闷，你的了胃溃疡，所以你去看了医生。医生认为你的胃溃疡很严重，所以你需要紧急治疗。所以，你赶紧打电话给当地医院。这次预约的日期是3个月后，因为有更多的紧急病患在排队。这样一来你的溃疡变得更加严重，因为你想到你收入的百分之四十缴纳了社会税。