帮忙审核一下几句话的翻译质量

shangyufei

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收藏 2017-08-06

悬赏 200 个论坛币已解决

帮忙审核一下翻译质量

以下内容是找百度人工翻译，翻译的汉→英文。总有点不太顺的感觉。希望英语大牛能修正一下英文翻译不顺的地方。

原文

译文

Comparedto the mode of pure online stores,The main difference between O2O and pureonline consumption is that O2O offers richer experience and it is easier totrigger online public praise. According to the research results, the key of thecatering industry to boost customer satisfaction is to improve the productquality and service level. Although the effectiveness of such promotionalactivities as online discounts, etc., as traditional means of gainingcompetitive advantages, are considered by many scholars to be lowering, theyare indispensable means online to attract traffic and trigger public praise.

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dongst 查看完整内容

Compared to the pure online store mode, O2O provides richerexperience, make it easier to trigger online word-of-mouth. Research results suggestthat, the key to boost customer satisfaction in the catering industry is toimprove product quality and service. Although traditional competitivestrategies such as online discount have been questioned by many scholars abouttheir decreasing effectiveness, the ...

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dongst

2017-8-6 13:47:54

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deem

2017-8-6 14:02:01

和纯粹的线上商店相比，O2O提供了更为丰富的体验，更容易触发购买行为。研究结果表明，餐饮业提高顾客满足度的关键在于提高产品质量和服务水平。线上促销活动，作为获取竞争优势的传统手段，尽管被许多学者认为有效性正在降低，但却是吸引流量，触发口碑不可或缺的手段。

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shangyufei

2017-8-6 14:03:26

deem 发表于 2017-8-6 14:02
和纯粹的线上商店相比，O2O提供了更为丰富的体验，更容易触发购买行为。研究结果表明，餐饮业提高顾客满足度 ...

抱歉，是检查英文翻译是否正确

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fuxing4203

2017-8-6 16:16:30

和纯粹的线上商店相比，O2O提供了更为丰富的体验，更容易触发线上口碑传播，成为O2O和纯粹线上消费的主要区别。研究结果来看，餐饮业提高顾客满足度的根本在于提高产品质量和服务的水平。线上打折等促销活动，作为获取竞争优势的传统手段，虽然被许多学者认为有效性正在降低，但是却是线上吸引流量，触发口碑不可或缺的手段。
译文
Comparing to pure online stores, O2O provides better experience and is easier to trigger online public praise. According to a research results, the key to boost customer satisfaction in catering industry is to improve the quality of both product and service. Although the effectiveness of promotional activities like online discounts that are traditional means of gaining competitive advantages are lowering as considered by many scholars, they are still indispensable means online to attract traffic and trigger public praise.

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deem

2017-8-6 17:09:14

shangyufei 发表于 2017-8-6 14:03
抱歉，是检查英文翻译是否正确

翻译准确，可以采用

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Libaoxinxin

2017-8-6 20:29:32

You may wish to have some more concise English writing, please refer to the following:

Comparing to the pure online stores, O2O provides varied experience, well disseminated online reputation, which are also the major differences between online stores and O2O. Based on the research outcome for catering industry, customers’ satisfaction rate is mainly depending on the increasing of product quality and service quality. As one of the traditional yet competitive methods, online discount promotion may be considered as less efficient but is the vital means of attracting browsing and reputation dissemination.

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rrrrowdown

2017-8-7 09:46:42

个人觉得有点中式。在compared to...后面你直接接的是difference做主语，相当于是将difference 与 pure online stores做比较，偷换了主语，建议还是把difference 换成 O2O，然后加上一个which 引导的非限定性定语从句说明这是二者的关系。“研究结果来看”用suggest会比according to 感觉更精炼一些。另外，用the catering industry‘s boosting... 会更显高级一些。activities 后面加上一个such可好？such as discount。你的activeness 用的是单数，那么后面的 are considered 应该搭配is considered啊。最后一个online的存在是误打了吗？不太懂这个online放在这里是干嘛的。

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sun288

2017-8-7 14:09:09

整体还可以，但我会改成： the key to boost customer satisfaction in...industry is to....

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浪逐曲奇

2017-8-7 22:28:10

让我来抛砖引玉，期待高手接力（不过我很需要论坛币吔，求楼主赏币）。
首先，“纯粹的”用pure（意义3complete and total）来表示，勉勉强强可以接受，但是从上下文，用mere 更好，不过这两个词用在不同的地方可以让翻译效果多样一些。
其次，“触发线上口碑传播”这一词组，trigger没错，不过口碑用public praise是比较少见的用法，更常用的说法是reputation或word-of-mouth，后者更口语化一些，看你需要的是笔译样本还是口译了，有疑问可以继续@我。
再者，第二段，“研究结果来看”翻成As researches suggest，好一些哦；这一句后半部分很乱啊，表达的应用也是错的，正常应是这样的：the key to raising customer satisfaction for the catering industry, is improving quality of products and services.
关于第五行，要改的很多，参考如下，promotional campaigns such as offering a discount and so on, which are traditional means of gaining competitive advantage/edge//winning a competition ,
第六行用lowering不太好，改成declining。
倒数第二行的means（手段）为保证表达多样性，最好改成measures。

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浪逐曲奇

2017-8-7 22:28:26

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浪逐曲奇

2017-8-7 22:31:05

P.S.The main difference between O2O and pureonline consumption is that 这句话要去掉！语法有一点问题。
本文来自: 人大经济论坛悬赏大厅版，详细出处参考： https://bbs.pinggu.org/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=5904540&page=1

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浪逐曲奇

2017-8-7 22:33:23

The main difference between O2O and pureonline consumption is that 这句话要去掉，语法问题
本文来自: 人大经济论坛悬赏大厅版，详细出处参考： https://bbs.pinggu.org/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=5904540&page=1

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clariguy

2017-8-7 23:08:08

改写了段落,请看看

Compared to stores that operate solely online, O2O has the potential to offer a richer experience to consumers. Prospective customers are able to visit physical stores to feel and touch the object, giving a sense of security on the quality of the purchase. According to research, high quality products and an impeccable service are the main keys to satisfied customers in the catering industry. More 'traditional' online promotional activities such as offering online discounts are thought to be less efficacious compared to a few years back. Presumably this is because there are many websites that are also offering huge discounts, thus increasing competition. Nevertheless, they remain an indispensable tool to attract online traffic, generating more leads to prospective buyers.

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forabusing

2017-8-8 00:14:35

dongst 发表于 2017-8-6 19:36
Compared to the pure online store mode, O2O provides richerexperience, make it easier to trigger onl ...

This is the best translation I've seen so far.

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shangyufei

2017-8-8 09:09:17

forabusing 发表于 2017-8-8 00:14
This is the best translation I've seen so far.

对我也这样认为！

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964800308

2017-8-8 10:46:27

Compared to the pure online stores mode, O2O offers richer experience and it is easier to acquire online public praise, which becomes the main difference of them. According to the research results, the key of boosting customer satisfaction for the catering industry to is to improve the product quality and service level. Although the effectiveness of such promotional activities as online discounts, etc., as traditional means of gaining competitive advantages, are considered by many scholars to be lowering, they are indispensable means to attract online traffic and acquire public praise.

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964800308

2017-8-8 10:46:58

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carrierchan

2017-8-9 09:37:01

Libaoxinxin 发表于 2017-8-6 20:29
You may wish to have some more concise English writing, please refer to the following:

Comparing ...

挺不错的~

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Linda333

2017-8-9 13:11:06

餐饮业提高顾客满足度的根本在于提高产品质量和服务的水平。这句翻译中用 the key of不够准确；这段翻译最不好的地方就是这段翻译Although the effectiveness of such promotionalactivities as online discounts, etc., as traditional means of gainingcompetitive advantages, are considered by many scholars to be lowering, theyare indispensable means online to attract traffic and trigger public praise.其中 as traditional means of gainingcompetitive advantages, 放在中间读起来不顺，你可以改成 as traditional means of gainingcompetitive advantages, such promotionalactivities as online discounts,although the effectiveness of it are considered by many scholars to be lowering, theyare indispensable means online to attract traffic and trigger public praise.

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feeler29

2017-8-9 15:37:33

Compared to pure online stores, O2O offers a richer experience, making it easier to trigger online word-of-mouth communication which become the main difference between O2O and pure online consumption. According to study results, the key to improve customer satisfaction in restaurant industry is to improve product quality and service level. Online discounts and other promotional activities, as a traditional means of gaining competitive advantage, although many scholars believe that the effectiveness is reduced, it is indispensable means to attract traffic, trigger word of mouth.

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天下独家

2017-8-9 23:03:15

我来修改一下这是我的拙见 Be Compared to the way of sheer online stores,The main difference between O2O and pureonline consumption is that O2O offers richer experience and it is easier and more faster than online public praise. According to the research results, the key of thecatering industry to boost customer satisfaction is to improve the productquality and service level. Although the effectiveness of such promotionalactivities as online discounts, etc., as traditional means of gainingcompetitive advantages, are considered by many scholars to be lowering, they are in dispensable means online to attract traffic and trigger public praise. 楼主翻译的很不错，英语肯定很扎实吧

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abc123401

2017-8-10 23:06:30

The translation that you have done seems to be very good.

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abc123401

2017-8-10 23:06:48

Well done!!!!!!!!

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Libaoxinxin

2017-8-14 19:49:02

carrierchan 发表于 2017-8-9 09:37
挺不错的~

看来大家对我的英文并不感冒，除了您！谢谢您的欣赏！

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