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昨天做了Act Like a Leader第四章摘要如下
4. Be More Playful with Your Self
“Obama could change styles without relinquishing his genuineness. Obama crafted his speech to fit the moment. It was a skill that had taken years to develop.”
The profile and psychology of chameleons are people who are naturally able and willing to adapt to the demands of a situation without feeling like a fake.
The biggest problem with the true-to-self approach is that it defines authenticity according to the past and, by consequence, defines change as a loss.
Stepping up to leadership requires a promotion focus, but many of the challenges of stepping up evoke prevention reflexes.
“My style is creative, argumentative, and demanding. But with clients, I am more careful, and measured; I joke around less, and I’m less speculative.” “A man has as many selves as the roles he takes on.”
Leadership Challenges That Can Make You Feel Inauthentic: (1) Taking charge. (2) Selling your ideas (and yourself). (3) Integrating negative feedback. Leading in a culture that is unfamiliar to you can exacerbate each of these challenges.
“I realized that as a leader you need some mystery and some unpredictability; you have to be very human at times, very “CEO-like” at others. People need to see you as one of them but they don’t want their leader to be just one of them.”
“You have to learn to step out in front of the work. It’s you who interprets, analyses and delivers the work that matters. If you are not the work, what are you? You are the fuel, the energy, the system that delivers the work and gets it seen and recognized. It is your unique delivery system. It’s made up of who you are, what you believe, what you feel, and what you think.”
If it’s hard for some people to sell their ideas, then it’s even harder for them to sell themselves to senior management. “I personally believe in being professional, but I slowly realized that networking is more important in this organization than elsewhere. So I try to build a network based on professionalism and what I can deliver for the business, not who I know. Maybe that’s not smart from a career point of view. But I can’t go against my beliefs. I believe in building a professional network. So, I have been more limited in networking up.”
We tend to think that we know more than we do and that we are better than we are. We fail to recognize that human nature is such that we remember best what troubled us most, what hurt us, what went wrong.
Constructive criticism ideally helps us revise our self-conceptions, but, sadly, most negative feedback will block learning by creating a defensive response. We just ignore the information, dismiss it as irrelevant, blame the undesired outcome on others or the nature of the job, or, most commonly, simply deny its validity—unless we get it from someone who we believe has our best interest at heart. That’s why it’s so important to maintain a network that can give us just the kind of feedback we don’t want to hear.
We still expect leaders to take the lead: to advance their ideas assertively, to claim credit for their ideas, to argue a clear point of view, and to do so with presence.
Your drive to improve and advance grows hand in hand with recognition from people who are valued by your organization and whose opinion you yourself value.
Becoming more playful with your own identity. Doing identity play instead of identity work. You can play at work and work at play—it’s about the mind-set with which you approach any activity.
Change your mindset from a performance focus to a learning orientation. You’re no longer trying to protect and defend your old identity from the threat that change brings. You’re just exploring.
Steal Like an Artist: (1) Nothing is original. (2)You’re only going to be as good as the stuff or the people surround yourself with. (3) Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started. (4)Copy your heroes.
“If you copy from one author, it’s plagiarism, but if you copy from many, it’s research.” What’s really important is not just steal someone’s style, but also to steal the thinking behind the style so that you can somehow get a glimpse into that person’s mind and internalize her way of looking at the world.
Aim to Learn. One of the biggest reasons we don’t stretch beyond our current selves is that we are afraid to fail, to suffer a hit to our performance. When people are driven by what she calls “performance goals,” they are motivated to show others that they have a valued attribute (e.g., intelligence, humility, good values) and they are looking to validate to themselves a self-image as someone who has this attribute. When people are driven by “learning goals,” by contrast, they are motivated to develop a valued attribute. When you are in performance mode, the game is about presenting yourself in the most favorable light: minimizing risks and maintaining positive illusions. A learning mode leads to a more playful approach, one that allows you to reconcile your natural yearning for authenticity in how you work and lead with an equally powerful motivator: growing and, most of all, learning about and extending possibilities for yourself.
Don’t Stick to Your Story. ”Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, true are powerless because they cannot think new thoughts.” A tried and true way of finding the right personal story to convey one’s values or purpose is to reflect on defining moments in our lives, when your mettle was tested in some important way, when a life event taught us an important lesson. But just as our working identities can get outdated, so can our stories. “Our tales are spun, but for the most part, we don’t spin them; they spin us.” We need to feel OK about revising the stories every once in a while, when they no longer meet our purposes.
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