两个经济学家走在路上，看见一堆米田共，经济学家A对经济学家B说，如果你把他给吃了，我就给你１００００００.因此B就吃了，拿到了１００００００,继续走，又看到了一堆，这时，B对A说，如果你把他给吃了我还给你１００００００.于是A也吃了。

两个人高高兴兴上路去，此时A发现，原来他们两个人除了吃了两堆米田共，什么都没有赚。但是B对他说：不怕，我们创造了２００００００的GDP。

以下是引用xiaoyang在2009-5-7 14:26:00的发言：

找哈佛的合作者
   

写就得写最深奥的文章
   

直接用英语写
   

文章最短也得200页
   

什么泛函呀，非参呀，行为博弈呀
   

能用的全给我用上
   

Introduction部分对萨缪尔森提出批评，Conclusion部分对卢卡斯进行总结
   

Reference部分列出最牛的Paper
   

全英文的，都是发表在《AER》和《ECONOMETRICA》上面的那种
   

所有的参考文献，甭管与文章有没关系都加上几句点评
   

It does not address the xxx problem. This paper presents a new method... ...一副地道的经济学大师腔调
   

倍儿有面子
   

文章中间再提出几个高难度的定理，证明过程模仿庞加莱猜想
   

光是引理部分的证明就得花上个几十页文章后面再提出几个Open Problems
   

就是一个字儿——难
   

提供基金资助的单位至少也得是MIT普林什么的
   

身边的哥们不是诺贝尔奖得主就是CLARK奖得主
   

你的朋友要都是一些NBER呀
   

你都不好意思跟人家打招呼
   

你说这样写出的文章，会包含多少个数学公式，会包含多少计量方法？
   

我觉得怎么看也得有十几个公式吧
   

十几个公式？！那只是在abstract部分
   

至少也得有四五十个公式
   

你别嫌多，还没有包括附录部分的二三十个公式
   

你得研究审稿人的心理
   

对那些看不懂论文的审稿人
   

根本就不在乎你再多增加几个公式，多加几个REGRESSION
   

什么叫论文大师你知道吗？
   

论文大师就是
   

写什么文章都写最难懂的，不写最有用的
   

所以，我们搞经济学的口号就是
   

不求有用，但求最难  

 

It does not address the xxx problem. This paper presents a new method... ...一副地道的经济学大师腔调
  

倍儿有面子

what are you talking about??????????????

Faint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

没错，这样文章要是被“小样”写成拉，建议发表在Playboy上。

Following story is to demonstrate some possible implications of the above statement. Two stangers, a man and a woman, meet in a cafe, the man asks.
"My Dear, would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?"
"Well, yes, I guess I would."
"How about $100?"
"What kind of person do you think I am?"
"My Dear, we have already established that. We are merely haggling over the price!"  
According to Ross Emmet, the story was told by George Bernard Shaw. The man and woman are Winston Churchill and Lady Astor and the incident allegedly did occur.

A true story:
"I heard this from one of my professors. To protect him, no names will be revealed. This professor was about to get married. He went to the jewelers to get a wedding ring for his fiancee. The jeweler told him that he can have the inside of the ring engraved with the name of his fiancee for an additional $20 (remember, this was a LONG time ago). He said, "But that will reduce the resale value!" The jeweler was aghast. He said, "How can you say such a thing. You are a butcher!" "No," replied the professor, "I am an economist"."
told by Tapen Sinha, PhD

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-5-8 22:41:01编辑过]

Humor is evolving, now we have a refinement:
"Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying the opposite thing" is true, but is not strong enough. Better:

"Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things." Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.

Roberto Alazar

(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)



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Heard at the Wharton School.
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"

"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."



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A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"  


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TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS
1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.



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ECONOMISTS do it at bliss point
ECONOMISTS do it cyclically
ECONOMISTS do it in an Edgeworth Box
ECONOMISTS do it on demand
ECONOMISTS do it risk-free (in reference to the risk-free interest rate)
ECONOMISTS do it with a dual
ECONOMISTS do it with an atomistic competitor
ECONOMISTS do it with crystal balls
ECONOMISTS do it with interest

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Economists do it with models"
Heard at the LSE.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Econometricians do it if they can identify it.
Applied econometricians do it even if they can't.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economists do it with Slutsky matrices.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economists do it discretely AND continuously.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economists do it on Leontief's table.
Heard at the Bocconi university in Milan.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Econometricians do it with dummies"?  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morry Adelman at MIT claims that he heard this at Shell long ago:
"A planner is a gentle man,
with neither sword nor pistol.
He walks along most daintily,
because his balls are crystal."
Mike Lynch, MIT  


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."

网上找得，太长发不完。

此贴看来要升级为高级别贴了，看的我还要查词典~~~~

俺这大众口味享受不了了

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有人在乡间路上遇牧者赶羊，对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中羊群的数目，得一羊，如猜错，你得一百元。”牧者欣然同意。路人说出一个数目，973只，牧者大为惊奇，因为确是羊群的数目。于是，路人取得他应得的“奖品”，拜别牧者，扬长而去。
　　　　走不了两步，牧者赶上来，说“让我有个扯平的机会———我们再赌一场吧？”路人马上同意，问牧者要猜什么？牧者说猜路人的身份，路人无异议。牧者一猜中的：“你是在官方智囊机构工作的经济学家！”路人吓得面无人色，牧人怎会知道他的职业？“这还不简单，”牧者揭开谜团，“因为你抱走的是牧羊狗而不是绵羊！”

http://netec.mcc.ac.uk/JokEc.html  这个网址有很多笑话。

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-5-8 23:03:20编辑过]

这个都被批了好多遍了，gdp是按增值额算的，他两啥都没创造。

那些英文笑话是萨缪尔森推荐的，在他的《经济学》序言中给了网址

前面丘吉尔那个故事，那位女士用的是一般疑问句啊，yes or no来回答。

丘吉尔答应了就不deal了么？怎么后面女士还来个讨价还价啊？

女士rp问题。

    从前有两个经济学家遇到一块，经济学家甲对经济学家乙说：你要把地上的狗屎吃了我给你一百万美金，乙考虑了一下觉得很值，就把地上的狗屎吃了，过了一会，乙对甲说：你把地上的牛粪吃了，我把一百万还你，甲想我这一百万不让这小子白得啊，于是甲就把牛粪给吃了，乙又把一百万还给了甲，后来，甲一想说“咱哥俩折腾了半天钱谁也没挣，一人吃了一堆屎，”乙说：“这你有所不知，一百万经咱哥俩这么一交换，GDP不就增加了二百万吗"。甲想了想大呼“咦！也是哎！”  

看来动物排泄物也是商品，而且是名副其实的“最终产品”

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