博士班成功并不是来自于苦读, 成功很大程度上是来自于你如何处理人记关系.美国读书杂记

     The following experience is based on one of my best friendwho is currently studying in US and do not want to release her name. I use 第三人称toconduct this note.

       Usually Chinese think that we will have chance and willsucceed if we work hard enough. She was one of them. Although she saw onedoctoral student who was at his last year in his PHD program had to leave hisprogram because he did not handle the relationship with his supervisor, she stillthought it was very unusual and though naively that she would handle therelationship with my program supervisor.

      One of my American friend told her that whether a doctoralstudent is succeed in a doctoral program in U.S. depends on how to manage therelationship with her professors in her  phd program. How wise is this suggestion.

       She has attended four PHD programs in total and stillworking on the 4th program and try to get her PHD degree. The firstPHD program was not suitable for my academic background. She had good time inthat program although she left the program after two years study. The secondPHD program was a right major for me. However, she left to jump to a top rankedPHD program in the same area and also escaped the fighting between two powerfulprofessors in the department. She was a student of one of two professors. Theother professor had tried hard to threaten the first professor’s students suchas failing students’ qualify exam, or prevent students publish papers inconference proceed.

           She thought she was super luck and was able to attend a topschool in the world. However, that was the beginning of a serial of real andbig nightmares. She naively thought top professors must be 大度宽容. Later,it was too late when she realized that every work out of mouth was counted bysomeone who late used as evidence against me. She had to leave this PHDprogram. From this program, she learned that famous professors may have sexwith their female students sometime even with handsome guys. People in suchkind of place need to know how to watch their mouths and be nice to peoplearound. The funny thing is that it is illegal to install any cameras without informingpeople in the office. However, every corner in the department office wasmonitored by hidden camera. Professors play games with each other by sayingsome English words that non-English speakers usually do not fully understand.If luck enough, a foreign student may avoid disasters. If not lucky enough,some professors may want the student leave the phd program. The student wouldface all kinds of problems immediately. Legal status in US, economic pressure,time lost in the program…. Those nightmares might happen just because thestudent does not know how to make professors happy or offend someone in theoffice. She did not know the help she offered to her colleagues and all herhard work turned to be a curse to her. She got a lot of jealous from hercolleagues who late created a lot of bad rumors about her. Couple of powerfulprofessors mistakenly believed those rumors and did very bad things to her.Later, when those professors found they were wrong. They kicked out the studentfrom the program instead of admitting their mistakes.

She faced legal immigrant status, financial pressure, andall kind of difficulties you can imagine at that moment. Funny thing was thatshe was a Christian who believed Jesus Christ and believed her church, atleast, would help her some. Unfortunately, she found that Christian churches inNY, USA is just a business, a business earns money without initial endowment.

     After two years struggling, she entered into her forth phdprogram and worked from beginning again. She has been doing fine so far. I wishher the best luck and realize her American dream.

              Good luck to those who study abroad.